Sarah Palin Facts

Thanks and a hat tip to a commenter on DKos, here are: (below) some Little Known Facts About Sarah Palin, (2) a website where you can discuss the LTFASP's you may have personally uncovered, and (3) a random LTFASP-generator stocked with thousands of them.

* Sarah Palin used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.

* Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.

* Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn’t challenging enough

* Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.

* Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

* Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

* Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.

* Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.

* The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eys.

* The raw energy of Sarah Palin melts the Alaskan ice roads every spring.

* We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.

* Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.

* Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.

* Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.

* Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.

* It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.

* Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

* Sarah Palin once one a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.

* Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.

* Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

* Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 "Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead"

* Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

My apologies to Alaskans, but these are just too damn funny.